Discover signs of emotional immaturity in a man and all about emotionaly unstable men

For a long time, I kept my eyes shut in the relationship. I refused to see that instead of a real partner, I had another child at home. Inside the body of an adult man was a little boy. A tearful, whining child constantly demanding attention. Waiting for me to act, decide, solve, arrange—or even pay. And on top of that, he expected meals cooked and the house clean. Just like at his mom’s. Full service. The Mama Hotel.

The only difference between him and my children was that my kids slept in their own beds—and he slept with me.  I performed my one and only role—the mother of “triplets”for some time—perfectly. And any mom will tell you that taking care of two kids plus another one in the form of your partner is exhausting. Trying to balance family, children, and work was an almost superhuman task. A 24/7 service job. And then, at night, I was supposed to transform into a sensual lover.

I searched for the energy I needed in sugar.

Sons don’t sleep with their mothers

That’s the cycle of life. In adolescence, the child matures and steps into his own life.

He turns away from his mother and focuses on relationships with girls his own age. He experiences the sparks of love. He explores the unknown corners of a woman’s body. Eagerly, he throws himself into experiences. He discovers his sexuality. That’s how it should be.

And so, when an immature man “grows up,” he embarks on the hunt for romantic experiences. The process is the same: he distances himself from “mother” and applies the knowledge he has already acquired.

Boys return from their adventures to home—to the family harbor. To regain strength. To get fresh laundry. To endure the sting of romantic disappointment. The same is true for these little big guys. They realize that a motherly trait is to love one’s “children” unconditionally, and mothers will always forgive them. And they take advantage of that.

Why do I attract such men? Look at your father 

So why do we attract immature men? The father is the one who shapes our adult romantic life. We will keep seeking copies of Dad. Even if you shake your head in disbelief now, it’s true. He has planted it deep in our subconscious.

And the compass needle within it guides us unfailingly toward the target. According to the prophecy of my subconscious, my “true” partner was meant to be an overly sensitive, immature man, dealing with his troubles through alcohol and abusing women.

I forgave my father (let him go) for predetermining my fate. Believe it or not, this was before I began working on personal growth. It was a thorny and painful path.

STOP BEING A GOOD MOM

When looking for a partner, don’t fish in a sea of turbulent emotions. Don’t try to save every castaway whispering sweet words to you. It’s a trap. I speak from personal experience. After a stormy breakup with my ex-husband (who, by the way, was immature), I cast my line into such waters.

I admit, my motive wasn’t noble. And what did I catch? A “immature solo carp.” A man specializing in women caught in the emotional whirlpool of divorce. That experience shattered my last illusions. Just a few words were enough: “I adore you.”

Fishing in the same waters as always isn’t a good idea either. The pond of your old patterns is full of “immature fish.” Allow yourself to fish in a beautiful, warm sea where only emotionally mature, prime specimens swim.

SINGLE — TIME FOR YOUR OWN EMOTIONAL GROWTH

Don’t have a partner right now? Afraid of choosing wrong because, like me, you fished in the wrong waters before? Take a timeout. Work on yourself.

IF I CHANGE, THE PEOPLE AROUND ME CHANGE

Take your destiny into your own hands. Stop being a puppet. Become a confident woman. Personal experience is priceless. If I had stayed in the “mother” role, I would still have dealt with my emotional ups and downs with cake, alcohol, antidepressants, and then I would have taken back my “wayward little son.” And the cycle would have continued. But the fate of a hundred-kilo alcoholic with broken health doesn’t appeal to me. I am here to raise my children in love.

Read my survival story about to discover signs of emotional immaturity in a man. 

Emotionally Mature Man vs. Immature Man

APPROACH TO EMOTIONS

Emotionally mature man:

Immature man:

 

RESPONSIBILITY

Emotionally mature man:

Immature man:

 

COMMUNICATION IN THE RELATIONSHIPS

Emotionally mature man:

Immature man:

 

STABILITY AND CONSISTENCY

Emotionally mature man:

Immature man:

 

SELFISHNESS VS PARTNERSHIP

Emotionally mature man:

Immature man:

CONFLICTS

Emotionally mature man:

Immature man:

 

SELF WORTH AND CONFIDENCE

Emotionally mature man:

Immature man: