Emotional pain & Mental Pain

mental, pain , emotional

Emotional and mental pain summary- click to enlarge

Mental pain and emotional pain often overlap, but they’re not exactly the same.
They interact closely — and people often use the terms interchangeably — but they refer to slightly different experiences.

Emotional Pain refers to the pain of hurt feelings — like sadness, rejection, betrayal, grief, loneliness, or heartbreak. It’s often triggered by:
  • Conflict in relationships
  • Loss or abandonment
  • Feeling misunderstood, unloved, or unsafe

Mental pain refers more to distress within your thoughts or mental processes — such as:

  • Rumination

  • Anxiety or panic

  • Feeling mentally exhausted or overwhelmed

  • Inner criticism or self-doubt

  • Hopelessness or existential pain

Emotional pain = real pain for the brain

Scientific studies (like fMRI scans) show that painful feelings activate the same areas of the brain as physical pain — especially when it involves rejection, abandonment, or being ignored. Key brain areas involved:

1. Anterior cingulate cortex (ACC)

  • This region registers both physical and emotional pain.

  • It's responsible for the distress you feel when you’re hurt emotionally — like when someone ignores you, criticizes you, or pulls away.

2. Insula

  • Processes bodily sensations tied to emotions (tight chest, nausea, heaviness).

  • It’s why heartbreak can literally hurt in your body.

3. Amygdala

  • Your brain’s threat detector.

  • When you're in emotional pain, especially from unpredictable or hurtful behavior, your amygdala becomes hyperactive. You may feel:

    • On edge

    • Anxious

    • Over-alert

    • Easily triggered

4. Prefrontal cortex (PFC)

  • This is the logical, regulating part of your brain.

  • Emotional pain dampens the PFC, so it's harder to:

    • Think clearly

    • Make decisions

    • Stay calm or rational

That’s why when you’re in emotional pain — especially in a close relationship — you might:

  • Ruminate

  • Overanalyze

  • Feel confused or frozen

  • Be emotionally exhausted

Emotional pain in close relationships hurts more

When emotional pain comes from someone we trust or love, it’s far more intense because:

  • The brain treats attachment as survival — especially in long-term bonds.

  • Emotional rejection or instability triggers core fear systems, including fear of abandonment, shame, and being "not enough".

Long-term mental pain can lead to:

  • Hypervigilance (constantly scanning for emotional threats)

  • Anxiety or depressive symptoms

  • Emotional numbing (shutting down feelings to survive)

  • Lower self-worth, especially when your reality is dismissed or minimized

The Good News: Your Brain Can Heal Painful Feelings

Neuroplasticity means your brain can rewire and recover from emotional trauma — especially when you:

  • Recognize the source of pain (you’re already doing that)

  • Create safety (emotionally and physically)

  • Validate your own feelings instead of minimizing them

  • Connect with supportive people who respect your emotional needs

  • Establish boundaries that protect your nervous system from constant triggers

How To Deal With Emotional Pain

Self-Soothing Healing Ritual for Emotional Pain

(5–10 min — anytime you feel overwhelmed, sad, or stuck)

1. Regulate Your Breath (2 minutes)

When we’re hurt or anxious, our breathing becomes shallow — which tells the brain we're in danger.

Try this simple breath:

🌬️ Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds
😌 Hold for 2 seconds
🕊️ Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6–8 seconds
Repeat 5–7 times

💡 This calms your amygdala and signals: “I'm safe now.”

2. Ground Yourself in the Present (1–2 minutes)

This helps the brain come out of rumination.

Look around you and name out loud or in your head:

  • 5 things you see

  • 4 things you can touch

  • 3 things you hear

  • 2 things you can smell

  • 1 thing you can taste (even if it’s just water)

💡 This activates the rational part of your brain (prefrontal cortex) and quiets the emotional storm.

3. Name the Emotion Without Judging It

When you name what you feel, your brain can begin to process it instead of holding it in.

Say to yourself:

“Right now I feel __________, and it’s okay to feel this way.”
Examples:
“I feel hurt.”
“I feel dismissed.”
“I feel invisible.”

💡 Naming emotion reduces its intensity. It's like turning a storm into a cloud.

 Speak to Yourself Like a Friend Would

When your brain is in pain, it needs kindness — not solutions.

Try one of these gentle affirmations:

  • “It makes sense that I feel this way.”

  • “I am allowed to protect my peace.”

  • “My feelings are real, even if someone else doesn’t validate them.”

  • “This moment will pass.”

  • “I deserve emotional safety.”

💡 You can write these down and keep them nearby — on your phone, mirror, or journal.

5. Choose a Small Act of  Self Care

Even one small comforting act helps your brain feel seen and safe again.

Pick something simple:

  • Make tea or drink water slowly

  • Put your hand on your heart or cheek

  • Yoga (emotional release)

  • Wrap yourself in a blanket

  • Read inspirational self help books

  • Light a candle or smell something calming (lavender, citrus)

  • Step outside and breathe fresh air

💡 These physical signals tell your nervous system: “You’re not alone. I’ve got you.”

Try evening ritual to calm the mind and heal emotional pain

1. Create a Safe Space (2 min)

Even just one small, loving signal can tell your brain: “You’re safe now.”

  • Dim the lights or light a candle

  • Put on soft music or calming sounds (nature, piano, low voice)

  • Put your phone away or on silent (if possible)

  • If you’re in bed, make sure your space feels warm and held (blanket, soft pillow, scent)

🔸 Optional: say quietly: “This space is for me. I can let go now.”

2. Do a Soft Grounding Breath (3–5 min)

You're not trying to fix anything. Just slow everything down.

Try this:

🧘‍♀️ Sit or lie down.
🌬️ Inhale gently through your nose for 4 seconds
🕊️ Exhale very slowly through your mouth for 6–8 seconds
Repeat 5–7 rounds
Let your shoulders drop with every breath out.

💡 You can also put one hand on your chest and one on your belly for grounding.

3. Let It Out (Optional: 3–5 min journal)

You don’t have to explain — just express.

Write (or say out loud, quietly or in your head):

  • What hurt me today was...

  • What I wish someone had said to me is...

  • What I want to release before sleep is...

💡 No rules. You’re not being judged. This is emotional detox.

4. Release with Kind Words to Yourself (2 min)

Your body and brain have been holding a lot. Give them something soft to land on.

Say to yourself (choose or create your own):

  • “I did my best today.”

  • “Even if I wasn’t okay, I was still worthy.”

  • “My peace is mine to protect.”

  • “I’m allowed to rest, even if nothing is fixed yet.”

  • “I’m learning to love myself gently.”

💛 You can whisper these. You don’t need anyone else to validate them.

5. Signal to Your Body It’s Safe to Sleep (3–5 min)

Choose any that feel good to you:

  • Stretch your arms, neck, or back slowly

  • Drink warm tea or water

  • Massage your feet, hands, or forehead

  • Lay a warm cloth or pillow on your stomach (calms the vagus nerve)

  • Listen to a guided sleep meditation (I can suggest one if you’d like)

Then say:

“I am done for today. It is safe to let go. Sleep is my healing.”

Comfort Object or Symbol

Keep something near you that represents:

  • Calm

  • Safety

  • Love

It could be a soft scarf, a small stone, a scent you like, or even a photo.
Your nervous system links objects with meaning — use that in your favor.

✨ Bonus: A Gentle Reminder

Emotional pain or painful feelings are not weakness. It’s information.
You’re not broken — your brain is doing its best to protect you.
Now you are learning how to protect yourself.

Emotional Pain

Painful Feelings You Can't See — But Still Feel

Not all wounds leave bruises.
Some sit quietly in your chest. In your thoughts. In the way your body tenses when someone raises their voice, looks away, or falls silent.

Emotional pain can come from feeling ignored, misunderstood, controlled, or constantly walking on eggshells in a relationship. It's the invisible weight that builds up — until you're no longer sure if you're just too sensitive… or finally starting to wake up.

Science now shows that emotional pain activates the same parts of the brain as physical pain.
That heaviness in your chest? That knot in your stomach? It’s real. And it matters.

You’re not dramatic. You’re human.

Mental Pain

How to Deal with Mental Pain (Without Numbing It)

1. Name the Pain

Start by identifying what kind of mental pain you're experiencing. Ask yourself:

  • Am I overwhelmed by thoughts?

  • Am I feeling hopeless, numb, or disconnected?

  • Is there a specific trigger, or is it just a heavy fog?

🪞 Naming it helps your brain feel less helpless and more in control.

2. Let Go of the “Fix It Now” Pressure

Mental pain is not always meant to be solved in one moment.
Sometimes it needs to be felt, understood, and moved through — not pushed away.

💭 Say to yourself:

“It’s okay to feel this way. I won’t feel like this forever.”

3. Soothe Your Nervous System

Mental pain often comes with a dysregulated nervous system — meaning your body is stuck in survival mode.

Try:

  • Deep breathing (inhale 4 sec, exhale 6–8 sec)

  • Holding a warm cup of tea

  • Putting your hand on your chest and saying: “I’m safe right now.”

  • Walking in nature or grounding your feet on the floor

📌 Your body needs to feel safe for your mind to begin healing.

4. Write it Out (or Voice it Out)

Mental pain is often unspoken pain. Give it a voice — not to relive it, but to release it.

Write in a journal:

  • “What’s hurting me right now is…”

  • “What I wish someone understood is…”

  • “What I want to feel instead is…”

Or record yourself talking. No one has to hear it but you.

5. Limit Inner Critic Exposure

Mental pain feeds on shame and self-blame.

Be mindful of how you speak to yourself. Replace:

  • “What’s wrong with me?” → “What do I need right now?”

  • “I shouldn’t feel this way.” → “It makes sense that I feel this way.”

🛑 Harsh self-talk keeps pain stuck. Gentle self-talk opens the door to healing.

6. Don’t Isolate — Connect

Even just one safe person — a friend, therapist, or support group — can help ease mental pain.
You don’t need to explain everything. Just being seen and heard makes a difference.

If no one is available, even talking to a journal or a pet is better than holding it all in.

7. Know When to Get Help

If your mental pain:

  • Doesn’t go away over time

  • Is affecting your sleep, appetite, or daily function

  • Includes thoughts of self-harm or hopelessness

Keep reading and healing:

Because emotional healing begins with truth.
You deserve more than survival and you deserve peace.

I’ve been there — and I’ve written about emotional pain in my fiction and non-fiction novels that may reflect your own journey:

“In Bed With Luca” – a raw, personal erotic novel of love, control, emotional pain, mental confusion, and the search for freedom. If you’ve felt trapped in a relationship where silence speaks louder than words, Luca’s story may help you find your own voice.

 “Go Back to Move Forward” – if you’re curious about how regression therapy can heal emotional numbness, old wounds, and hidden pain from the past, this book offers insight and real transformation.

 “From Prague to Florida and Back” –  psychological novel with emotional story of Jana, a mother who faced both deep emotional and physical pain… and still stood up. If you’re looking for courage, healing, and hope, this story may touch your heart.

Important Note:

This article is meant to inform and support your self-awareness, but it’s not a substitute for therapy or medical care.

If you're experiencing intense emotional or mental pain, or if your feelings are interfering with daily life, please seek help from a licensed therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. Healing emotional wounds — especially those linked to trauma or long-term stress — often requires professional guidance.

Asking for help is not weakness.
It's a courageous first step toward feeling safe, balanced, and whole again.