Passive Agresive Behaviour

I’m standing at the bakery counter in Globus. I don’t have a cart; I’m waiting for my daughter to come back with a paper bag. My eyes wander over the pastries when I hear quietly but insistently behind me:
“Excuse me.”

I turn around. An older man, both hands on the handle of his cart, is looking directly at me. The cart is headed straight toward my feet, as if he intends to charge.
“Excuse me,” I address him, “but where are you going?”
“Can you move, please?” he says in a tone that isn’t a request but a command.

My answer: “I’ll step aside. But you could just go around me. You have two meters of space behind me.”
The man doesn’t stop; he just steers his cart toward the next stand. I return to my place, as if I had never moved.

My daughter comes back with the paper bag, and we choose pastries together. Just as we leave, I hear quick footsteps behind us.
“How would you like it if someone told you what to do?!” the man shouts, catching up with us.

I stay silent. His eyes hold anger that has nothing to do with shopping. I think of telling him that he’s doing exactly that, but I don’t want to give him even a bit of my energy or attention.
“You’re hopeless!” he continues, his voice rising.
“It is, hopeless,” I answer quietly.
“But with you, it’s really hopeless!” he repeats, as if he needs to hear it himself.

My daughter leans toward me and asks softly, “Mom, what’s his problem?”
“Nothing,” I smile. “He’s just looking for a conflict.”

We walk away. His voice no longer touches us. Only that strange feeling—how many people today carry more anger than peace within them.

Key Observation

The man assumed that others should accommodate him, rather than taking a small action himself (going around). He is testing boundaries, seeking either control or a reaction from you.

You have to options: engage or step aside.

Asserting calmly can work
“Excuse me, could you go around? There’s plenty of space, you don’t need to bother me.”

“Please go around, there’s enough space.”

Ignoring him and step aside without engaging.

Situations like that often don’t just concern the “physical space,” but also the sense of consideration – someone wants things exactly the way they imagine and won’t take that small extra step. How should you respond?

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